Thoughts on High School Reunions

Obviously, I wouldn't be writing or delving into this subject, if at the moment, my own high school reunion was not coming up.

Well, duh, it's coming up.

Am I going? I don't know. I really don't want to spend the money to see a whole ton of people that I honestly was not too close to. I still stand by the theory that people go to these things out of curiosity to see who is doing what, how successful they are, and who got fat. Not to toot my own horn about how great and genuine my husband to be is, but I think he's the only who is honestly going because he genuinely wants to say hello to a few friends and not for any of the above reasons I mentioned.
I'm the one who wants to go and see who got fat. Hey, I'll admit it!

High school was not the most pleasant experience for me. And this isn't a knock against high schools or reunions. (I'd much rather go to my college reunion.) It was just that for me, I don't want to re-visit the bad choices I made, the feelings of struggle in my own identity & security, and the ex-boyfriend who I stupidly let influence my life too much in high school. Much of my high school years I felt very, very alone. I think that if I had had a much closer relationship with my parents, or some foundation, maybe it would have been different.

Not to bemoan my lot in life at the time, but sometimes I look back on my high school years and wonder how I could have gotten sunk so low emotionally and still survived. I wonder many times what God was trying to tell me back then and what He though, especially when I was wallowing in my own self-pity mess and making one bad decision after the other. I often wonder why I didi not have someone older or wiser around to encourage me & why I didn't permanently stay the way I did.
The picture of my emotional state at the time of high school was one of bleakness painted on a canvass of stark white. No color. No vibrancy. The way the color of emotion would even start to reveal itself on the canvas of my life at the time was when depression, sadness, insecurity, and rage would emerge. Needless to say,, it wasn't very positive.

My husband to be, on the other hand, did not have that type of experience in high school at all. His high school canvas was filled with color, vibrancy, excitement, and stages of changes in life that made it fun for him. And yes, you guessed it. He's ok with going to the reunion.

Our experiences were like night and day.

My friend emailed me just recently to ask if I was going to the reunion. She just received the e-mail from another mutual classmate of ours. She shares much of my same feelings.

I think that secretly, whether or not you had a great high school experience or not, people are still curious bout your lot in life and how every one's life turned out compared to theirs.